Paul's “chapter of love” is by far the most frequently read scripture reading at weddings. Verses four thru seven seem to define the nature of romantic love. Even young Calvin wonders about it....
Calvin: So, Hobbes, what's it like to fall in love?
Hobbes: (placing his hand on his chin) Well..., say the object of your affliction walks by...
Calvin: Yeah?
Hobbes: First, your heart falls into your stomach and splashes your innards. This condensation
shorts the circuits to your brain and you get all woozy and wobbly. (cross eyes, wobblin)
Calvin: Yikes!
Hobbes: When your brain burns out altogether your mouth disengages and you babble like a
cretin until she leaves. (putting hand on Calvin's shoulder)
Calvin: That's love??
Hobbes: (crossing his arms and nodding his head) Medically speaking...
Calvin: Heck, that happened to me once, but I figured it was cooties!
Hobbes: (as he exits) Might've been that, too!
Calvin: Oh, wait – there's Susie! (calling) Hey Susie, what's up with your hair!
Susie: Hey Calvin! Are we near a slaughterhouse or is that your deodorant?
Calvin: What? How dare you - you, you walnut brain! (to cong) It's shameless the way we flirt.
Ahhh, love! But as beautiful as Paul's words are, and as well as they may apply to our intimate relationships, Paul's original meaning is in danger of being lost in translation. Paul writes his letters in ancient Greek, a language that had three distinct words that we translate into the word, “love”.
First, was philos, a brotherly kind of love from which we have the words 'philanthropy' and 'Philadelphia', the city of brotherly love. Second, was the word, 'eros', which referred to romantic love, the kind Calvin was asking about. Third, is the word, 'agape', used by Paul here in chapter 13 and Jesus in John 15. Agape love is a selfless, sacrificial love based not an emotion, but on a decision to love.
Consider the context. Paul has just finished a chapter where he twice lists the gifts of the Holy Spirit, noting that “A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other.”
(1 Corinthians 12:7)
He's just made it clear that these gifts are not given to puff us up but so that we can help build one another up as the Body of Christ. He then transitions to his teaching in chapter thirteen by saying, “But now let me show you a way (of using these gifts) that is the best way possible.”
(1 Corinthians 12:31)
In doing so, Paul makes four points. # 1: “Being spiritually gifted is utterly meaningless if it is not used in love.” Paul picks five spiritual gifts as examples: speaking in tongues, prophecy, words of knowledge, generosity and exceptional faith. Since the gift of tongues seems to be a particular issue of prideful behavior in Corinth, he starts with that one. To drive home his point he compares using it self-ishly and arrogantly with the pagan practice of clanging cymbals or gongs to gain public attention.
It's an image akin to my announcing my great attributes to you by hitting a cymbal every time I did so... You'd be made of far stronger stuff than I if that didn't very quickly grate on your nerves. It would send seekers and committed Christ followers racing to their cars! That's exactly Paul's point.
In contrast, the sound of a cymbal crash, as it's often heard in a song like the Star-Spangled Banner, actually adds to the power of the song, as I was told when a percussionist in High School. As Paul put it: “All of you together are Christ's body, and each of you is a part of it.” (1 Cor 12:27)
Paul notes that gifts like knowledge, faith, prophecy and generosity are worthless as well if they don't help those around us experience God's love for them through our actions.
Paul's Point # 2: Agape Love is not an emotion, it's an action! In the chapter's best known verses, four thru seven, Paul spells out what love is and what it is not. “(Agape) Love is patient and kind, not jealous or boastful, proud or rude. It doesn't demand its own way.... but refuses to give up on a person, is trusting, hopeful and resilient through any and every circumstance.”
(1 Cor 13:4-6)
The love Paul describes is proactive. It's a love that decides to love – not because a person is in the mood – but often precisely when they are decidedly not, having decided to show love to another person even when that other person's demeanor isn't very.... lovely.
Bob Goff puts flesh on this agape kind of love in his bestseller, Love Does. Therein he tells of a time in his life when he was preoccupied with himself, causing trouble at home and at school. At one point, during his junior year, he dropped by an older friend's house and woke him up to tell him he was leaving home to work at a national park. His friend, Randy, blurry eyed but concerned, disappeared into the house only to return with a tattered backpack with the words, “Bob, I'm with you.”
“He didn't lecture me on how I was blowing it by dropping out of high school or that this was a fool's scheme, destined for disappointment and failure. He was resolute & unshakeable: I'm with you”
(from Bob Goff's book, Love Does)
When the two arrived at Yosemite Valley, Bob applied for a ranger position and was turned away. Randy encouraged him to apply for other positions and went with him from one place to another but everywhere he was told the same thing. No positions were available. Sharing a tent, sleep was just as evasive. “There was no work, I had no money, I was a high school dropout, Randy was snoring and I had to go to the bathroom. That about covered my list of problems from least to greatest.”
At one point, Bob told Randy that he'd decided to head back home and finish high school. Upon their return Randy invited Bob into his home where Bob saw gifts all over the room. It turned out that Randy and his girlfriend had just gotten married and had both sacrificed the early days of marriage so that Randy could come along side Bob and embody the selfless love of Jesus Christ to him.
“He saw my need and did something about it. He didn't just say he was for me or with me, he was actually present with me. What I learned from Randy changed my view about what it meant to be a follower of Jesus. I realized it wasn't about knowing all of the right stuff or obeying a list of rules. Its something more, something more costly because it involves being present and making a sacrifice.
No wonder Jesus is called, 'Immanuel', 'God With Us'. To follow him means to do as he did and come along side those in need. What I learned from Randy, he learned from Jesus: Love does!”
(from Bob Goff's book, Love Does)
That's Paul's point – agape love is not an emotion, it's a call to action. And his third point? “Spiritual gifts are temporary while agape love is for eternity.” As Paul puts it: “Prophecy, speaking in tongues and words of knowledge will one day fade away but love will last forever!”
(1 Corinthians 13:8)
Let’s be clear, Paul’s three-chapter teaching on the gifts of the Holy Spirit, and the fact that he speaks about them in his other letters as well, shows just how important they are for the health of the church. He's not saying they don't matter. He's simply putting them into perspective. One day we will no longer need the Holy Spirit because when we die, or when Jesus returns, we will live no longer live by faith but by sight. We will stand in Jesus' presence, face to face.
As Paul emphatically puts it: “Now we see things imperfectly, like reflections in a murky mirror, but then we will see him face to face.” (1 Corinthians 13:12) The spiritual gifts, as vital and exciting as they are temporary at best, but the fruit of love will outlast all gifts & accomplishments.
It brings to mind the closing scene in the academy award winning film, Ghost. Sam stands in front of his wife, Molly, with angels waiting behind him to escort him to heaven. With joy on his face he tells her: “It's amazing, Molly! The love inside – you take it with you!”
Knowing that only love lasts forever puts the gifts, and everything else, into perspective. That's Paul's fourth point: “Use your gifts with maturity and big picture clarity!” That's what he's getting at by his reference to giving up childish things and a self-serving mindset. No one illlustrates that better than young Calvin. One strip shows him kissing Susie's hand for finding Hobbes. After they leave, she says to herself, “Well! Wasn't he the little gentleman! Wait - HEY! Who took all the cookies?!”
We've lost perspective when we live our lives in pursuit of getting as many cookies as possible. We're to use our abilities and spiritual gifts not for the childish aim of being celebrated for how kind, generous or religious we are, but to build one another up. What's more, we use them with the big picture in mind, looking to that day “when we will see everything with perfect clarity.”
(1 Cor 13:12), as did Don Piper during his 90 Minutes in Heaven.
Lindi, a member of John Burke's church, talked about her NDE life review: “What was interest-ing is it was all about relationships. There was nothing about accomplishments; it was all about how you love other people. We looked at both moments where I loved well and at missed opportunities. At the end, Jesus said, 'Welcome home, thank you for loving me so well through out your life.' The experience has deeply motivated me to make the most of every opportunity.”
(from John Burke's Imagine Heaven
That's precisely what Kentucky hairstylist Sharon sought to do. She'd heard of a widower, Ed, with two daughters, the younger of which was in desperate need for a liver transplant. Ed was broken in grief and Sharon was broken from her toxic relationship with an unloving mom. Determined and gifted with the gifts of generosity and perseverance Sharon spearheaded an effort to raise money for the hurting family and medical help for Ed's daughter. Her efforts led to a community rising to the occasion. Their amazing story is told in the film, Ordinary Angels.
Paul offers big picture clarity to the gifts and abilities God provides us with. Using them with maturity and clarity, we think of love not so much as an emotion but as selfless actions by which we invest in what is eternal – the reckless, unconditional love of God shared between us!
As Bob Goff writes in his daily devotional: “After the curtain falls on our lives and people reflect on who we were and what we did, they won't celebrate the things we built, the hours we put in on the job or the beauty of our home or things. They'll celebrate the ways our love impacted their lives. Nothing else will make God's highlight reel. Everything else will end up on the editing floor.”
(from Bob Goff's Live in Grace – Walk in Love)
“Of all the virtues we strive to live out, faith, hope and love remain, and the greatest is love. (Acts of) love will last forever!” (1 Corinthians 13:13, 8)