Friendship
l Samuel 18:1-12; '1 Samuel2S:7-14 Lutheran Church of the Redeemer October 26,2024
Last week, Pastor Don did a marvelous job helping us see David's spirit-filled mindset when he came up against the towering warrior Goliath. From Don's words, I realized that regardless of the giants before us, the Holy Spirit takes whatever we have in our lives to defy the largest obstacles we face. Some of those obstacles seem like giants. They may center around our loss of money, status, friends, loved ones, and the loss of our youth for many of us. But like a boy facing a giant on the battlefield, we confront what's before us with God's Spirit. Our battles are God's battles. He will never leave us or betray us. Now, we will read and see how David continues to face a giant of another kind, King Saul. Yet, God's Spirit gives David someone unique and forms a lasting bond with him.
1 $amuel 18:'l-12 New l-iving Translation
t After David had finished talking with Saul, he met Jonathan, the king's son.
There was an immediate bond between them, for Jonathan loved David. 2 From that day on Saul kept David with him and wouldn't let him return home. 3 And Jonathan made a solemn pact with David, because he loved him as he loved
himsetf. 4 Jonathan sealed the pact by taking off his rabe and giving it to David, together with his tunic, sword, bow, and belt. 5 Whatever Saulasked David to do, David did it successfu tty. So Saut made him a cbmmander over the men of war, an appointment that was welcomed by the people and Saul3 officers alike. {i When the victorious /sraelite army was returning home after David had killedthe Philistine, women from all the tawns of lsrael came out to meet King Sau1.
They sang and danced for joy with tambourines and cymbals. tr This was their songi
"Saul has kitled his thousands, and David his ten thousands!"
{} This made Saul very angry. "Whht's this?" he said. "They credit David with ten thousands and me with only thousands. tVexf they'll be making him their king!" I So from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David.
l# The very next day a tormenting spirit from God overwhelmed Saul, and he began to rave in his house like a madman. David was ptaying the harp, as he did each day. But Saul had a spear in his hand, 11 and he suddenly hurted it at David, intending to pin him to the wall. But David escaped him twice.
t'i Saul was then afraid of David, for the Lorcl was with David and had turned away from Saul.,
Then, after Saul makes several attempts to end David's life we read this
1 samue! 23:7-18 (l want usto read a bitfurtherthrough vs. 1B) 'fSaulsoon
learned that David was at Keilah. "Good!" he exclaimed. "We've got him now! God has handed him over to me, for he has trapped himself in a walled
town!" #So Sau/ mobilized his entire army to march to Keitah and besiege David and his men.
*But David learned of Saul's plan and totd Abiathar the priesf to bring the ephod and askthe Lord what he should do.'f aThen David prayed, "o Lord, God of [srael, I have heard that Saul is planning to come and destroy Keilah because I am here. l lWill the leaders of Keitah betray me to him? And witl Saut actualty come as I have heard? a Lord, God of lsrael, p/ease tell me.',
And the Lord said, "He will come."
1?-Again David asked, "will the leaders of Keitah betray me and my men to Saul?"
And the Lord replied, "Yes, they wiil betray you."
?ffso David and his men-about 600 of them now-left Keilah and began
roaming the countryside. Word soon reached Saul that David had escaped, so
he didn't go to Keilah after all. lADavid now stayed in the strongholds of the wilderness and in the hill country af Ziph. Saul hunted him day after day, but God didn't let Saul find him.
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encouraged him to stay strong in his faith in Goct. "f
reassured him. "My father will never find youl You are going to be the king of
lsrael, and I will be next to you, as my father, Saul, is well aware.,, lsso the two of them renewed their solemn pact before the Lord. Then Jonathan returned home, while David stayed at Horesh.
Pray with me: Lord of heaven and earth, let my words speak what needs to be heard and draw us closer to our savior and Lord and His ways. Amen.
day.!7q! Horesh, David received the news that Saut was on the way to Ziph to search for him and kilt him. l\Jonathan went to find David and
'7"Don't
be afraid," Jonathan
Let rne begin by asking, "what shapes our eharaeter when we face giants?"
Take, for instance, Saul. He faced the giant of being the first king of
group of tribes, many of whom had quarreled and fought for years. And he's trying to figure out his role with the people and prophets like Samuel. I would be a bit anxious about being the king, especially since he made so many blunders, that back in chapter 15, he was told by the prophet Samuel that the kingdom would be taken from him. lt would make you wonder what role God had in store for you,
Will Saul respond to the loss of his reign with humility and try to be a servant of God and fgr the people, or will he try to hang on to something he thinks he can regain OutHitready lost? We know, as Proverbs tells us, that the fear and wonder of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, or how fools make a mockery of (their own) guilt and repentance. (Proverbs 9:10,14:7)
Saul is proof of the latter. As we read in our text, he becomes jealous of this upstart slayer of giants, David. And so much so that most of the remainder of 1 Samuel recounts how his jealous rage exponentially grows against David,
Now, we may not talk about jealousy because it seems juvenile and silly, a feeling one has in your teens or twenties. We're beyond ever feeling that way, We are pretty comfodable in eur skin, with who we are and how we think about ourselves.
On the other hand, that may not be true for some of us, You may be anxious, troubled, and confused. Or perhaps even angry over something ot #$8t e@foy.r1no, You feel you are not valued, heard or appreciated, A relationship is not heading
in the right direction. On the other hand, you may want to grow and develop in a certain way, some self-improvement, and you look at where you are and where you want to be in the future, and you become anxious. You over-worry, set unrealistic goals, or give up too easily. You may even fantasize about something you would like to achieve, a relationship to have, and the list goes on...
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You build unhealthy expectations of yourself and others. Doubt sets in, and if you are not careful, you are paving a path of insecurity and perhaps self-pity. You feel stuck. And that is where anxiety kicks in- it's the gap
between where you are and where you want to be. And you may try many things to shorten or eliminate that gap.
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One Mt is jealousy"whicn gets worked out in many different ways. I still
coach men as a life coach. And some face the subtle jealousy of not having
something others may have. They don't name anyone as the cause for their
jealousy. Again, that would be juvenile, but it's there. lt's discontent, bitterness, a
grudge, envious of something the world has that's not theirs. Frustrated, anger
begins to show up in ever-so-subtle ways. And if they are not careful, they
blame their circumstances, or a system turned against them, or even someone
else because they wonder: "Why can't I have what others have?". lt could be
success, money, family, or influence. All good things, but they can lead to jealousy.
Notice how, with Saul, it starls in a rather casual way:
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David slays Goliath, and women poetically sing the praises of both David and Saul, By the way, Saul had no reason to think what the women sang was a slight against him. ln the traditions of the time, of both Hebrew and Canaanite poetry, there was little difference in saying one slew a thousand or tenthousand. lt meant the same thing. But not for Saul. No, this begins his downward spiral of vengefuljealousy toward David.
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lf you read through '1 samuel, saul shows the classic signs of jealousy:
Read through 1 Samuel and
twice Saul attacks David with a spear (1 Samuel 18:10-1 '1
Saul entraps David by offering his daughter's hand in marriage only if he
shows his valor by killing more of the enemy. This backfires, for David kills twice as many as Saul asked for.
Saul sends assassins to David's house to kill him, only for David to be rescued by his wife.
Multiple times, Saul is in for the kill, pursuing David in the wilderness.
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i Samuel 1g:g-'10).
- Possessive or controlling behavior
- Constant need for reassurance
- Monitoring someone's whereabouts and communications - lncreased distrust or suspicion
- Heightened emotional volatility
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Here's the thin$: Saul could have@ taken his life in a different direction. He knew the kingdom was no longer going to be his. He could have recognized that David, the man he promoted, may soon be the next king. He could have realized his failures and come alongside Dbvid, advising and mentoring him. lnstead, he spends much of his remaining years making life miserable for everyone close to him and trying to destroy the very person God chose to bless.
This is one of the saddest stories in the Bible, carrying a profound warning for all of us, especially during times of disappointment. Be cautious when you start feeling angry. Pay attention when someone else receives the blessing you were
hoping for. The New Testament reminds us, "See to it that no root of bitterness grows up in you" (Hebrews 12:15). Bitter jealousy can lead any of us to a downfall and destroy us.
But there is an antidote. Something we see in the son of Saul, Jonathan. He loves David with a deep covenantal love going way beyond a casual friendship.
The friendship between David and Jonathan was unique in the ancient world. Some people today argue that because they were very close and open with each other, they must have been same-sex lovers. I have two points to make about this: first, the Hebrew word here is for friendship, "ahab," not the word used for romantic relationships, which is "yada."
Second, as Tim Keller points out, this is gender stereotyping. lf this story was about two women, we wouldn't suspect homosexuality. Women are not the only ones who need deep covenantal friendships. We all do and are to be steeped in the kind of New Testament friendships that "Love one another, confess our sins to each other, while encouraging and praying for one another." That is normal Christian friendslrip. Spirit bound with spirit. I need you and you need me.
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Each of us needs a few friendships to go deep and here are some of the walsia,{.
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We learn$bild, to be humble with each other. Jonathan takes off his robe and gives it to David. The son of the king, the heir apparent to the throne
symbolically is saying: "David the throne can be yours." But Jonathan also
offers his tunic, sword, bow, and belt. Again, symbolically saying: "David here is
my military strength and all the power I possess, lt's yours." To us, this would be the equivalent of a presidential_candid_atq-who clearly has the inside track to
the presidency-turning to this closest rivar and saying, "Look, I know I'm
leading in the polls, I know I should be the next president, but you,re really
better qualified. You deserve to be the president, so l'm going to bow out and
tell everyone to vote for you," How like is that? But that is what ChrisI&<& d.rluea friendships are like. We out-serve each other and, in humility, know our place
and when to offer what we have to others.
Another way is we draw strength from each other and protect each other. Many times, Jonathan was willing to shield David from Saul's attacks. He used
his position and authority to make sure David wasn't stepping into an ambush. Several times, Jonathan urged David to hide or flee from King Saul. lribamuel
20, Jonathan promotes the welfare of David before Saul only to incur the wrath
of his own father. Jonathan's covenantal love runs deep in protecting DaviQruurr,.r.'i'
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One of my closest friends is Harold who lives in North Carolina and we've made several cycling trips on both coasts. lnevitably, there are times when the wind kicks up, and we have done what they call drafting. That's where one cyclist gets close behind the other. The front rider forms a slipstream, creating a vacuum pulling the rider behind. They say the rider behind is saving roughly G0 percent of their strength. Harold and I would take turns setting the pace by drafting/protecting each other.
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That's what spiritual friends do. They set the pace and protect, helping one another find and follow God. Sometimes, we need a friend to catch the
headwinds that want to slow us down or cut us off. i *r
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We also learn how to be faithful and loyal to one another.
I count on one hand the men who.l consider deep, faithful and loyat friends, No matter what, no matter how many miles we live apart, we are committed to spending time together. lt is usually a week every year and it takes time, effort, and money. Tragically, last year, one of my closest friends died. And even though that void will never be filled, I continue to go deep with the few who remain.'iy'. rr,,
We have learned how to speak into each other's lives with encouragement and the hard things that need to be said. Apathy and inditference are not in our vocabulary. We ask the probing questions that challenge not only how we think but how we behave because we know, as Proverbs tells us us that "iron sharpens iron" (Proverbs 27:17). We don't agree on some political and social
issues, but nothing gets in the way of seeking a Christ-centered, Spirit-filled life for each other that draws us closer to His likeness rather than our own.
Outside of my commitment to Trudy and my family, these are my mates, and I will put myself in harm's way for them. There have been several times when one of us has dropped everything, got on a plane, and been there for the other.
We are the likes of Jonathan for each other.
My challenge then is for all of us to first, celebrate the close friends who, as Proverbs tells us are always loyal, and that each of 'us might be to them a brother or sister who is born to be there in their time of need. (Proverbs 17:17)
Or if you seek God-centered, loyal friends, ask yourself, "Am I willing to become as selfless as Jonathan was for David? Am l, like David, open and transparent about receiving encouragement, and support? Am I willing to be challenged and mature in my walk with Christ?
lmagine what this means for us who live in an individualistic, independent culture that believes everyone can go it alone. But that is not the culture of the gospel. We are exiles who, in Jesus' words, "love each other as he love6, us."
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