SEPTEMBER 17th, 2023 PASTOR DON PIEPER
ONE AT A TIME 2 Corinthians 5:11-20/John 4:4-21,23,28-30
“TALK HIM UP - ONE CONVERSATION AT A TIME”
In our series, we're learning from Jesus how we can have an impact on the lives of those around us by following his lead. A key way Jesus did so was one conversation at a time. The difficulty, tho', is that most of us freeze up at the thought of talking to non-Christians about our faith.
Pastor Kyle Idleman..., shares how he recalls coming home from work one day to find a strange dog in his house. His wife informed him that they were dog-sitting and that the dog, whose name was Porkchop, was afraid of men. That would explain the dog's reaction to Kyle. He peed and ran away.
Kyle noted how strange it was to walk into his house and be greeted by an unknown, urinating dog named Porkchop. Sure enough, every time the dog saw him it would pee and run. That's kind of how many of us are about having “Jesus’ conversations” with people – well, minus the pee, hopefully. Too often we're inclined to run away. Remember Sir Robin from last week? His minstrels loved to sing about his heroic exploits with a little ditty that went like this: “Bravely fled Sir Robin, Sir Robin ran away. When fear reared its ugly head, Sir Robin turned and bravely fled...”
I get it! I'm not much better. But I'm realizing that if I want to have the positive impact on those around me that I'm called to as a follower of Jesus I must resist the temptation to run away. As Paul wrote: “Because we understand our fearful responsibility to the Lord, we work hard to persuade others. God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. We're Christ's ambassadors.” (2 Corinthians 5:11, 19-20)
I think that “fearful responsibility” bit has to do with our not wanting to one day stand before God and have to explain why we failed to share Jesus with the lost or disconnected souls he put in our path. We've been given this task, as Christ's ambassadors, and here, in this story of the Samaritan woman, Jesus shows us how we can do it. It's the longest conversation recorded in the NT!
In a sense, its conversation that never should've happened. In that day and culture, men didn't talk to women in public. “When his disciples returned, they were shocked to find Jesus talking to a woman, though none of them had the nerve to ask, 'Rabbi, why are you talking with her?'” You can almost hear their minstrels singing..., (Bravely fled the disciples...) (John 4:27)
And not only was she a woman, she was a Samaritan! It would've been like seeing a pastor laughing and having a drink with a Muslim. Jews and Samaritans didn't mix. They were like oil and water. And what's more, this Samaritan woman had a reputation. Being seen with her could damage a man's reputation! “What is he doing hanging out with her?” they muttered heroically. (John 4:27)
They certainly didn't think this conversation should've ever happened. And John tells us that Jesus was tired and thirsty and hungry. As John notes, “Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well... (His disciples had gone into town to buy food.)” (John 4:6, 8)
Jesus had every excuse in the book not to engage this woman from town. That's the first lesson we can learn from Jesus. Resist succumbing to the most reasonable of excuses that come to mind: I'm not good at it. I don't have time right now. I'm not in the mood. I'm too tired. What would I say?
-2-
Do you believe Jesus is as good as his word? Well, then you don't have to be good at it. For one thing, it's not about you. It's about him, and He promised to help you: “Don't worry about how to respond or what to say. God will give you the right words at the right time, for it is not you who will be speaking – it will be the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.” (Matthew 10:19)
That's why firing off a quick silent prayer is key when you find yourself in such a moment. Ask God to help you love them like God loves them and to give you his words to speak. If I offered to pay you $10,000 for every time you shared your faith with someone who doesn't share your faith, you'd probably start looking for every possible opportunity to do so, but Jesus made it clear that we're to care more about following him, and caring about those we encounter, than we do about money. With his help we can overcome our fear and excuses and learn from him how to have such conversations.
John opens this story by telling us that “Jesus had to go through Samaria”. I can imagine his students' reaction to that: “Why do we have to go through Samaria? That's where the Samaritan’s live!” (John 4:4)
Jesus felt compelled to go there even though Jews systematically avoided doing so at all costs. The gospels reveal that Jesus was led by the Spirit and so are we to be. Paul called it, walking in the Spirit. We do so by asking for, listening for, and acting on those inner nudges the Spirit provides – such as when you see someone who is hurting, or someone comes to mind, or someone asks for help.
“Christ's love compels us for we're convinced that one died for all! So, we regard no one from a worldly point of view..., (knowing) that we speak for Christ when we plead, 'Come back to God!'” (2 Cor 5:14,16,20)
Next, we ask good questions. This whole amazing, life-changing conversation began with a question. When the woman stepped up to the well, Jesus asked her, “Will you give me a drink?” (John 4:7)
Notice what an emotionally safe question that is. Christians are often encouraged to initiate spiritual conversations by asking, “Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus?” Most people find that off-putting, sensing that they’re seen as some kind of project.
Worse still is the other question evangelicals often ask: “If you were to die today do you know where you soul will go?” Most non-believers find that impersonal, arrogant and offensive.
Jesus' opening question is much safer. His question shows interest in what she's doing. That's a good way to initiate a conversation with someone. Show interest in what they're doing. Paul found ways of connecting by finding a common ground on which he commended them.
Initiate spiritual conversations by asking about what they do or are doing. Don't just show interest, allow yourself to invest in them. Be interested because they're story is interesting. What's more, Jesus' question expresses humility. It shows to the woman that like her; he is needy. I find that such an important approach in talking with guests at Alpha for example. I admit my own fallacies.
Next, note that influence comes through acceptance. Even though he was standing on higher moral ground, he never judges her. His acceptance is clear in that opening question and has an instant impact. She responds: ‘You’re a Jew and I'm a Samaritan woman, and you're asking me for a drink?' (John 4:7)
Before she knows it, the two of them are talking. And then, at one point, Jesus shifts the topic of conversation from surface issues to spiritual ones. “Whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst..., for it will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” (John 4:14)
-3-
I sat next to a couple on an airplane who're very chatty. They were heading home from Seattle to the Midwest, so I asked about what brought them to the northwest. He informed me that they had visited an old friend, who they hadn't seen in years, who was dying of cancer. I said that I was sorry to hear that, that it must've been difficult and then asked how it went. He told me with some emotion that it had been very hard, that he sat by his bedside, not knowing what to say, how to comfort him.
I asked if his friend was at peace or troubled about the prospect of dying and the man said very much the latter, and then he asked me what I would've said in his place. At this point, he didn't know that I was a Christ follower much less a pastor. I told him of how I had once been prepared for a big interview with the owner of a restaurant. A friend helped me by telling me the kind of person this boss was and what kind of questions he might ask. I told this guy that I'd do the same for his friend.
Two things I did right that day. First, before I boarded the plane, I told God I was ready and available to be a blessing to whoever I sat next to. Normally, I just want to read my book and not be bothered. A chatty fellow passenger is the last thing I want. This time, I went in praying. Second, when he told me about his friend, I realized God was creating an opening. Before the flight was over, I was able to explain that God is not our enemy, that God is loving and forgiving and why it is so crucial that we seek his forgiveness if we want to wind up in a place of perfection and holiness like heaven. I know what I said was given to me by God. I'm just not that good at thinking on my feet.
So, pray. Ask good questions followed by more good questions and look for a point in the conversation where you can move it from surface issues to spiritual ones, but don't jerk the wheel. Be patient. Let it happen naturally. When a person expresses some hurt, or some longing, or some need, or some unfulfilled dream or relationship, that's your cue. But let it happen naturally.
Next Jesus moved the conversation from spiritual to personal. When she asked for some of this crazy all you can drink water, he replied, “Go call your husband and come back.” (John 4:16)
Oh no, he didn't! Oh yes, he did! He went there. He addressed her dire need, but again, without judgment. Most people today have been exposed to Christianity but have concluded its not relevant. They need someone to help them connect the dots, to point to a God who knows them intimately and loves them unconditionally and can make right what has gone wrong in their life.